


Eyes on me

by Loreley90



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Female Protagonist, Fluff and Angst, Panic Attacks, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loreley90/pseuds/Loreley90
Summary: Station 19 - Maya finally takes a few days off to relax with her beautiful doctor when an unexpected call comes in. Her team is facing a difficult operation, and there is nothing she can do to help them.Inspired by the scene of the 3x11 episode of Station 19
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 2
Kudos: 80





	Eyes on me

Soft... the fabric of your bathrobe... soft... your skin in contact with mine.

_Diin_

I smile while I kiss your neck, touching your face with one hand. Your profile, your perfect cheekbones.

_Diin_

God, I really needed a vacation. I just want to enjoy this moment. I want to enjoy it... with you.

_Diin_

I can no longer ignore the phone...damn it!

"No... no no no no, don't!"

Oh, I wish I listened to you. But usually no one's calling me, or at least not so many times in a few. They'll be work calls. I read the messages.

"That's a four alarm"

Shit.

"Anything you help with from a thousand miles away..." You say to me, ironically. The captain in me finds it absolutely not ironic: I decide to take a few days off and a four alarm fire breaks out. That's a sign. I slowed down my run, I broke rule number one: never let your guard down, never shorten your pace.

"Level four alarm, They're expecting... they're calling everyone in..."

I can hear you coming towards me, but I can't, not now. I feel the breath become more difficult and I decide to get up, chasing the breath of air that enters through the door leading onto the small terrace of our room. It's warm and cool at the same time, but it doesn't seem to give me the oxygen I'm looking for.

"Okay... they will call everyone else and they're gonna put out a fire."

"Yeah... yeah... I, I..." I can barely talk. I instinctively bring my hand to my throat, it doesn't seem to pass oxygen. No matter how hard I try to get air into my lungs, I can't breathe.

"Yeah but I'm... I'm the captain... I should be there... I'm supposed to be there for a level four fire! I've... I've never been this far away..."

I hear the sound of your voice calling my name. My thoughts seem to scream in the space between my temples.

"Maya..."

You call me, you come towards me. You're looking for a me that's already in another place. Or would like to be. But my body is here, what kind of idea came to me: I should be there... at the station, like every day, there... ready for my team. I should be ready.

"And now I'm too far, too far away..." I can't breathe. Like I'm in a burning building and I've finished the oxygen tank. And I was trapped inside. It's never happened to me before. I don't run out of oxygen, I don't get trapped. I'm Maya fucking Bishop.

"Okay, Maya, Maya, Maya... you're having a panic attack. It's okay, it's okay, I'm here with you. They'll put out the fire..." you try to calm me down, I hear your words but my brain is too busy, looking for an exit from this trap, but every door that opens leads onto a closed room.

"What if... what if someone gets hurt? What if something happens to one of them?"

They're my family. Travis, Ben, Jack, Dean, Vic... Andy... expecially Andy. There are emergencies everywhere during every hour and every minute of every single day. They'll fix it. They'll be okay."

I look you in the eyes, I'd like to calm down, but I can't. Your look is so... so... I can't stand it, my eyes don't know where to go, but they certainly can't get lost in yours. I need to sit down, I need to feel something steady, while my head gets heavy and the whole room starts spinning. You take my hands and never leave them, while I sit on the edge of the bed.

"Look at me... Maya, look at me! Eyes on me, eyes only on me."

Breathing becomes even more difficult, I've forgotten what oxygen is... my vision becomes more blurred while my body becomes weak. You take my face in your hands.

"Maya, eyes on me, please... breathe... breathe, okay"

My eyes are lost in yours. I follow the rhythm of your breath and it seems to take effect. Yeah, it's definitely having an effect. I'm breathing normally again... I feel the oxygen circulating in my body. Your touch... your hands so softly laid on me, on my face. I can't believe you could have this effect on me. I can't believe I... No, whatever. Seriously, how I feel about you is... ? Obviously I haven't fully come to my senses yet.

You caress my cheek and I close my eyes, focusing on your gesture. I feel it amplified, like you're caressing my heart. My soul. The darker side of me, the one I'm ashamed of, the weaker side, the one I was never allowed to have.

You stand up, and as soon as your hand leaves my skin, I feel a sensation of emptiness. I can hear my breathing stop as I follow you to see where you're going. You lie down on the bed and spread your arms, putting your back against the headboard, beckoning me to come lie down with you. I get up and before I reach you, I stop and look at you.

"Thank you" I whisper softly, like I don't even want you to hear me. I'll join you on this bed that's becoming a scene of memories I'll have a hard time forgetting... including this bad one. I lie by your side and rest my head on your chest while you surround me with your arm. Stroke my long blonde hair, still wet after the shower. As soon as you saw me coming out of the bathroom, you called me a lion... your lion. And now here I am, helpless, destroyed, defeated, by what just happened. And here you are, standing next to my own dejected, hurt... beaten. I'm not used to all of this: having someone to accept my weaknesses, my defeats, and that you just love me, no matter what. I'd like to tell you for a second... I love you... but I'm not ready, not yet. What if I told you and then you found out the hidden side of me? What if I screw up? Oh yes, I know myself, I'd be absolutely capable of doing that, in fact... it's also highly likely to happen. And you... you're wonderful, Carina, you deserve better than someone like me. But I can't stay without you... I don't want it! Not now at least.

"Ehi, bella... dammi un bacio ora"

I recognise this sentence... you're asking me to kiss you. Oh, when you speak to me in Italian... I absolutely cannot resist to you. I take your call right now. After all, At least...maybe I've deserved a little bit of this happiness.


End file.
